Bionic Eye is almost a real thing. Blind Mag, Anyone?

So I read this story, last night.  Some German company has designed a camera that can be implanted to help the blind see.


 "The device is designed in such a way so that it  fits under the retina and works like a digital film camera.

Here we have a 3mm sq array of 1,500 light sensors that sends pulsed electrical signals to adjoining nerve cells, which relay the messages to the brain."

Apparently, patients in Germany who have already had the implant are "now able to recognize tables and chairs and have developed the practice of walking." What an oddly depressing way to say the (formerly?) blind people can now walk into a strange room without bumping into something. 

But cameras implanted into eyes? Does that remind anyone of, I don't know, a couple different movies?  My first thought? Repo! The Genetic Opera

Yes, Repo! The Genetic Opera. The only movie I can think of to have Sarah Brightman and Paris Hilton in the same frame AT THE SAME TIME. And also the only "human puppet" scenes I can think of in a musical.

"Want me to do this bit while drinking a glass of water?"

For those of you who have never had the experience of watching Repo!, to make a drawn out story short - in the "not so distant future" (as is always the case) there's an epidemic of organ failures, a company starts doing organ transplants and plastic surgery on layaway, and they blackmail Anthony Stewart Head into performing repossessions when people fall behind on payments. Its bloody, gruesome, musical fun - and OMGWHYHAVEN'TYOUSEENITYET?!?!?!  Oh yeah, and Alexa Vega is there being pale, Emo and annoying as hell. 

"I AM the hero, srsly. . .omg WHYWON'TYOULOVEME!"

I'm getting away from myself. . . One of the assorted subplots is that of Blind Mag (SPOILERS!) Blind Mag was friends with Alexa Vega's - I mean - Shilo's mom before she died. Rotti - the villan - implanted cameras into her eyes so she can see in exchange for her being his exclusively signed opera star (because why wouldn't your surgical empire have its own opera spokeswoman?)  Besides basically being Rotti's slave, Blind Mag is pretty awesome.  Epic singing voice, crazy gothic queen clothing, and she can make home movies without a video camera.

"And that's when we went to the lake. . . Opps, sorry. That was meant to be private."

Anyway, bad news for Mag, is that her contract sets the date of her repossession - without any way of getting out of it (someone should have consulted a lawyer first.) There's a big concert thats meant to be before all the cutting and slashing begins to take back her eyes. But Blind Mag deicides the better option is to just GOUGE OUT HER OWN FREAKING EYES

"DAMMIT! Wrong eyedrops! Stupid freaking contacts"

So,  yes,  Bionic Eye implants - however much of a breakthrough or boon to humanity they may end up being - will always remind me of Sarah Brightman stabbing out her own eyes with massive, diamond encrusted talons. 

And don't even get me started on The Final Cut . . .  creepers. . .